Find Your Voice
If you are drowning in other’s voices, it’s time to find your own.
Hey! 👋 I hope that got your attention. I have a mom voice, and I’m not afraid to use it.
There are three things I coach women on in my business:
3. How to Find Their Voices
Yes, I believe I can teach all three. Yes, I think they’re for every woman.
We live in a different world, ladies, a world where everyone has a platform, anyone can grow an audience, your reputation and personal brand can propel your success or hold you back.
And yet, it’s risky to put yourself out there too. You have to be smart about it. I would challenge any of you who are told you are too much or not enough, to tone it down or assert yourself; before you change, before you decide if “their” feedback has merit, ask yourself,
Do I respect this person or this organization?
Is this a part of my future?
Is this who I am or who I want to be?
What’s in it for them?
Consider the source of the feedback and assess their stake in your behavior.
Everyone, I mean EVERYONE has an opinion on women. Look no further than election season. Women who run get called the most vile things; they endure scrutiny, double-standards, criticism, and critiques, but it happens to women outside the limelight too. At home, at work, at school, women face a constant barrage of judgment and often unsolicited guidance.
A friend of mine recently shared that in first grade, her report card said something like this, “She likes to talk a lot, but she needs to learn to wait for permission.”
This example drives right to the heart of the matter. It also hits home because I have two second-graders and a kindergartner, and I’m sensitive to the messages children receive in early academia. My mama bear instincts kicked right in.
While I realize it wasn’t her point, look how long an accomplished woman of 60-something carried feedback from her 1st-grade teacher.
I love teachers and believe they deserve so much credit, especially now, but they are people too, with full plates and many distractions. That’s what it means to consider the source. Her teacher wasn’t branding her, diagnosing her, or handing down a life sentence. She was making a casual observation about a moment in time. Maybe she meant it; perhaps she was exhausted.
💦 Ladies, we are water, flowing over and around the words, phrases, and labels that define us, so much bigger, so much more powerful, so much deeper than they know — and yes, we are essential to life. 💦
You not only get to decide who to listen to, but if you are drowning in other’s voices, it’s time to find your own.
When we say what we want, what we stand for, what’s true and important, our voice causes a ripple. Our people show up, opportunities arise, we feel better, we have more authentic engagements, and we pave the road to a better future for ourselves and our children.
When women’s voices are a part of the conversation, it elevates the tone and deepens the love.
If it’s easy for you, invite other women to share.
If it’s hard for you, start journaling so you can examine your thoughts.
Your voice matters even if you think you have nothing to say, that you will step on someone else’s toes, or surprise someone you love. Your voice matters even if you feel you have nothing to contribute, are boring, insignificant, unqualified, or are doubting yourself in any way. Those are merely limiting beliefs that diminish you — they are not the whole story.
Holding back is not the answer. Speak your truth. It’s expensive to be quiet. It costs us more than we think.