Lifestyle Design? Part 3

I had a life coach about 20 years ago challenge me to pick a job that matched the lifestyle I was looking for. At the time, in my early 20s, I wanted to double my income, travel nonstop, and work for a company with a lot of brand cache and strong leadership. That exercise led me to HBO for more than a decade.

Now, years later, I’m a life coach, and one of my specialties is lifestyle design. I like helping others figure out what they want and how to get it without struggling to make it happen.

Photo by Umberto on Unsplash

So, in Part 1 and Part 2, we started with the momentum builders. Anytime you can start with enthusiasm and energy, do it.


In Part 3, we are going to get visionary. We are going to define your best life. This essential step envisions what you want for your life in the most captivating and irresistible way that speaks directly to you. It can be better than anything you’ve seen, or more than you’ve ever dared dream; in fact, it doesn’t even need to make sense for anyone but you.

It’s important that your vision of best is powerful imagery or a mantra that inspires you, motivates you, and immediately connects you to your why. Best is where you shine — it’s effortless in a “doesn’t matter how much work it takes” way because it’s endlessly attractive, not something you temporarily crave. You have no problem investing in the outcome because the journey is so satisfying. It literally feels like a hero’s journey.

Best is also often where you’re undeniably talented, even if you don’t see it, where you thrive, where ideas and innovations and upgrades and enhancements come easily, where you are enthusiastic, your energy feels boundless, and you trust things will work out.


What usually trips people up at this stage is one of the following:

  1. You think you know what you want, but the closer you get to it, the less you want it, which means you probably didn’t choose best as defined above;
  2. You think you need a playbook to follow someone else’s steps to get there faster, but ultimately owning your exclusive journey is necessary, even if you borrow shortcuts or are inspired by others as discovered in Part 2;
  3. You need tangible evidence that it’s going to work out, but that’s not the point, and life doesn’t work that way.

Final Thoughts

Seasons are seasons for a reason. They are temporary. Maybe there’s an explanation why your best isn’t within reach right now. That’s ok. If it were that easy, that we could claim it this season, we aren’t stretching far enough. Best exists outside of what we currently have, outside of our comfort zone, and truly is a hero’s journey.

I’ll be back with an exploration of Steps 2 and 4, or, if you can’t wait, download the Best Life Blueprint right here.

Written by

Life coach for women. Writer for 29 publications. Happiness, success, productivity, balance, leadership, inspiration. Follow me on Instagram @coachformoms.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store