Insights into work life balance, start-up entrepreneurship, limiting beliefs, and more.
I’m doing something different today. I’m sharing seven of my favorite questions and answers from my Facebook groups. These were the Q&A’s that got the most traction this month.
Please tell me what resonates, how you would answer, and if you have a question you’d like answered, please send it my way!
1. What’s the course or program that you purchased this year that made a significant impact on your business?
Marie Forleo’s B-School. Armed with coaching training and a corporate background, I was looking for two things from the program.
First, I wanted a broad and applicable overview of entrepreneurship, with emphasis on business operations and digital marketing. And while I have significant world-class brand experience, I’m not at that stage with my business, so I wanted to focus on solopreneur start-up logistics like profitability, viability, and reaching my ideal customers. It’s the perfect program for establishing that strong foundation.
Second, I was looking to expand my community, and the program delivered x 1,000. I bought B-school through Amy Porterfield’s affiliate bonuses, and both groups have proven to be invaluable, filled with ambitious, smart, entrepreneurial women, business owners, and mothers. They are my tribe.
2. My husband doesn’t help out at home with scheduling and appointments for our busy family. What should I do?
First, recognize that it may not be his thing. If he is as engaged and committed as you are, you have two choices. Either, let it go and expect him to pick up the slack in other areas, or, if you can’t let it go, fair enough, delegate and take the consequences when/if he drops the ball. Either he’ll figure it out, or he won’t.
3. I’m questioning the path I’m on. Some days I can see it so clearly and know I’m meant for more, but other days I feel scared and like a fraud. How can I push past my limiting beliefs to make it happen?
Try this powerful exercise: Estimate how long it will take to achieve what you’re dreaming of. Let’s say it’s five years. Take some time to indulge in what it will mean to achieve it, then back into it. Reverse engineer each stage. What’s year four look like? Year 3? Year 2? Month 6? Month 3? Next month? Next week? The clearer you get on what it will take, the more tangible the steps become, and the easier it is to stay on your A-game.
4. I’ve started and quit three businesses, and I’m at the point where I don’t know if I can commit or trust myself to know what to do next.
Is it boredom that causes you to change your mind or something else? Do some soul-searching. Then, these two exercises might help: 1) Imagine a conversation with yourself ten years in the future. Close your eyes and force yourself to stay there for 5–10 minutes. Try not to let your mind wander.
Tell your future self you came for a reason and need guidance. Ask her what lessons she learned, what realizations she came to, what you need to know to make choices and decisions for your highest good.
Then bring that wisdom to your present life. 2) Imagine your time is finite, because it is. If you only get to start one more business, or have one more chapter in your career, what regrets come up? What would you most wish not doing or trying? What are you resisting and why?
The answers may come with either of these; they may not. Take the pressure off and permit yourself to tap into your more profound knowing.
5. Where do you get your client gifts?
I keep an eye out when I’m shopping, at Home Goods, at Target, or at cute boutique, or when ordering from Amazon or Zulily. When I see something amazing or adorable, and the price is right, I grab 6–10 and throw them in the client closet. Then when I need them, I’m not scrambling, and it always seems like they are the right vibe.
6. I’m struggling with balancing my little one and my business, and I’m not sure if I should try to do both right now.
Sometimes the hard part isn’t the doing; it’s the deciding, especially when the decision has such high stakes. If it feels daunting as you contemplate the long-run, try this: Make a plan with hubby as to how you’ll balance childcare and work for 30–60–90 days (whatever timeline feels right), then do it. Re-evaluate at the end. How it go for you? For hubby? For baby? Agree to decide as a team, execute as a team, and reevaluate as a team.
The beauty and challenge in the early days is that the stages go so fast. What works when the baby is nursing, immobile, crawling, walking, non-verbal, talking, needy, independent, sleeping, not sleeping (substitute new stage description here)…doesn’t necessarily work for the next stage. By trying to figure it all out in advance, you may be putting unrealistic expectations and undue stress on yourself.
Both parents have equal responsibility in the success of each stage, and the learning curve is large, but, if you can commit to enjoying the stages, managing them together best as you can for your family, and take the next one as it comes, soon you’ll be surprised how confident you are mothering, and you’ll know when to press on the gas or pump the brakes on work too. Trust yourself to know and figure it out as you go.
7. What I want is a simple life filled with purpose. I’ve recently left my job after 11 years to be a SAHM, and I don’t know what the future holds.
Hi! I left Corporate America about three years ago and the transition — no matter how well planned, even when it’s the right decision — can still make you question everything. I did it for my kids too, and even with such a compelling “why” I needed to find my way over time.
In the first year, I didn’t worry about my career at all, which was no easy feat because I was the primary breadwinner and my job was our primary source of benefits. We saved for just such a situation and maximized our severance package.
The long break created distance, emotional closure, and validated the transition. And before I focused too much on the future, I dove headlong into motherhood and embraced where I was. It was a return to self of sorts.
In year two, I started to begin the hard work of shifting gears, finding my future, uncovering the resources and people who could make it happen.
Now I’m well on my way. It feels so good to do life on my terms, aligned with my values, with what’s best for my family. My work feels limitless, full of potential and upside. I don’t feel like I’m holding back anymore and I know I’m making a difference. That’s a dramatic and powerful shift. All along, I’ve focused on happiness and possibility, and let go of fear and disappointment. See if you can choose patience, purpose, and openness, and let it unfold over time. All the while, savor your little one!