Wish List vs. To-Do List: Empowering Both Partners to Pursue Their Goals

Part 2 of A Mothers’ Work is Never Done: The Fair Division of Labor at Home for Working Parents



I need to color my hair, not just glossy, with a hint of summer highlights, lowlights, or ombré, but cover up some grays. Ug.

I’m sharing this distressing news with you because I don’t have time to fit it in before my next trip next weekend, which means I’m either going to have to do it myself (likely) or carve out 3–4 hours and hope that it aligns with my stylist’s availability (unlikely).

Being too busy for a hair appointment isn’t a function of a high-powered career or chaotic life; it’s the season of parenting we’re in.

Have you ever thought I’m too busy to be sick, too busy to pee or sleep? We think we know busy and tired before kids, but most of us have no idea.

Crafting a Plan in Advance

A fair division of labor at home is crucial for working parents, but it feels far away when you don’t honestly know how becoming a mom will impact your life.

Sure, you can talk to others and divvy up household tasks, childcare, cleaning, and more based on their best practices, but leave a lot of room for what you still need to learn — namely, everything.

Baby’s needs, Mom’s recovery, the ebb and flow of exhaustion, and the demands and opportunities at the office will largely be a mystery revealed in real time.

The key is focusing on the benefits, not the workload: Know your why. I touched on this in Part 1. The fair division of labor at home is not just about splitting chores; it’s about understanding the intricacies of each other’s responsibilities, appreciating the emotional labor involved, and employing both partners to pursue shared goals.

You married each other because you love each other and were really excited about a future together. Having children is an incredible avenue for personal growth and achievement if both partners are allowed…



Kristi Andrus life and business coach

When I drop my kids off at school, I always kiss them and shout, BE AMAZING! Love your life, make the most of it, level up, and be amazing. www.kristiandrus.com