You’ve Got to Take Some Options OFF the Table

Why Constraints are Good for You

Beautiful table
Photo by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash

I work with many women who are good at many things. Not just inside their current role, organization, or industry, but more broadly. They are full of potential with mile-long to-do lists and glittery aspirations, yet they freeze like a deer in headlights when they think too far ahead.

They know how hard it will be to make their dreams come true. Balancing their desire for more with the reality of what’s already asked of them is overwhelming. And, they instinctively know the tradeoff and aren’t willing to give up something important to add in something unproven.

It’s Too Much

Imagine letting a seven-year-old loose in the world’s largest candy store, knowing she can have anything she wants. She will go up and down every aisle, frantically grabbing, throwing it all in the cart, not discerning at all, or perhaps lingering and overthinking everything and taking hours to decide.

Now imagine you say you get 20 minutes to pick five things. Which kid is happier? Kid number two leaves with her heart’s desires met. Kid number one leaves overstimulated with a future tummy ache.

The world is too accessible now. It’s a great problem to have, don’t get me wrong, but people are drowning in choices. It’s too much when you can be anything, do anything, learn anything, live anywhere, travel anywhere, and try it all.

The world is too accessible now. It’s a great problem to have, don’t get me wrong, but people are drowning in choices.

Choosing feels like a burden because it means the opportunity cost of giving up other, equally enticing options. We used to live in our bubbles, not knowing all the options possible for our lives, but now, with the internet, we see it all — the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everything in between. It’s so easy to imagine different lives for ourselves.

But choosing one thing often takes something else out of consideration. Sometimes, going too far down one path eats up time you would have spent pursuing something else. Sometimes a choice truly is irrevocable; other times, you might be…

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Kristi Andrus life & biz coach travel-obsessed mom

Life coach for women who want it all! Writes about family, parenting, travel, business, and personal growth. www.kristiandrus.com